Managing Strong Emotions with ADHD: Why Emotional Dysregulation Happens and What Helps
Do you have a lot of intense emotions?
People with ADHD often experience emotions more intensely than other, “neurotypical” individuals. You may have heard the term “emotional dysregulation” which simply means difficulty regulating feelings.
What are the effects of intense emotions?
Poor emotional regulation can lead mood swings, emotional outbursts, and heightened sensitivity to criticism. It can be challenging to manage these big feelings, making it easy to “over-react,” act impulsively, feel overwhelmed and have difficulty coping. You may also find that others (friends, family) have difficulty with your emotional reactivity.
What does the research say?
Researchers from Spain were interested in better understanding emotional regulation in ADHD. In a 2023 study, they reviewed 231 studies and found 22 that met their criteria to explore three key topics: features of emotional regulation in ADHD, brain functioning during tasks requiring emotional regulation and interventions improving emotional regulation in adults with ADHD.
Key findings included the following:
Ten studies confirmed that adults with ADHD are less effective in regulating emotions than adults without ADHD.
Several studies showed that adults with ADHD tended to have less useful emotional regulation coping mechanisms.
Studies also found that increased severity of ADHD symptoms, including impulsivity and executive functioning challenges, was linked with higher levels of emotional dysregulation.
Seven studies looked at brain functioning and found that patterns of brain activity related to emotional regulation differed among adults with and without ADHD.
Only a small handful of studies have looked at ways to help adults with ADHD improve emotional regulation.
One take-away: emotional reactivity is not your fault! It is part of ADHD. (But read on to learn more.)
How do “big emotions” show up with ADHD?
Emotional reactivity in ADHD shows up in many ways, large and small.
Intense emotions: With ADHD, you might feel joy, anger, pain, or confusion with greater intensity than others, potentially leading to impulsive behaviors.
Emotional outbursts: These can involve crying, yelling, or storming off, and may feel sudden and uncontrollable.
Mood swings: Abrupt shifts between happiness, sadness, frustration, or anger are common.
Low frustration tolerance: Even minor setbacks can feel overwhelming, leading to irritability and difficulty completing tasks.
Difficulty calming down: You may struggle to move on after a stressful event, potentially leading to rumination and difficulty focusing.
Sensitivity to criticism: Rejection-sensitive dysphoria, a condition linked to ADHD, can cause intense emotional pain from even minor criticism.
Overwhelm: Emotional dysregulation (or reactivity) can contribute to feeling easily overwhelmed by daily stressors.
Impulsivity: Emotions can drive impulsive actions, such as blurting out hurtful comments or overreacting.
Sensory overload: Overstimulation from the environment can trigger intense emotions like rage and irritability.
Does any of that sound familiar to you? Help is possible!
What are the consequences?
Anyone with ADHD knows that the consequences of poor emotional regulation can have a significant impact.
These emotional challenges can impact your relationships, your work or career, your safety, and your overall well-being.
People with ADHD can fall into two categories: "hurlers" who express emotions outwardly and "hiders" who internalize them.
A hurler may hurt others, or push them away.
A hider is more prone to anxiety and depression.
Research-based strategies to manage “big emotions”:
A good – and ADHD-specialized - therapist can help you understand what contributes to overwhelm in your life. They can help you develop individualized strategies to reduce and manage ADHD-related overwhelm. Even more importantly, a therapist with expertise in somatic (body-based) approaches, can help you address emotional regulation at the level of the nervous system itself, reducing your overall reactivity.
Understanding the neurological basis of ADHD and its impact on emotional regulation is key to developing effective coping mechanisms.
Seeking support from a therapist who understands ADHD can help you understand your own reactivity and develop strategies for managing your emotions.
Finding a somatic (body-based) therapist can help you with approaches such as EFT “tapping”, brainspotting, and energy psychology, among others, that can begin to regulate your nervous system and reduce reactivity so you are not just “coping” with it but actually become less reactive.
Free video resource:
I (Micah Saviet) am a therapist specializing in ADHD and somatic regulation. I work with clients directly to help get their nervous systems more regulated. Contact me for more information!
I’ve made a video that guides you through using EFT “tapping” to address strong emotions. You can access it here.
What is your next step in getting a handle on your emotional reactivity?
If you live with ADHD, experiencing strong emotions isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s part of how your nervous system processes the world. Emotional dysregulation can make everyday situations feel overwhelming, but with the right tools and support, balance is absolutely possible.
Understanding the brain-based roots of your reactivity, practicing somatic strategies like EFT tapping, and working with an ADHD-informed therapist can help you calm your nervous system and respond to emotions with greater ease. Over time, you can move from feeling hijacked by your emotions to feeling more grounded, connected, and in control.
Curious to learn more? Schedule a free consultation today.
References
Soler-Gutiérrez, A. M., Pérez-González, J. C., & Mayas, J. (2023). Evidence of emotion dysregulation as a core symptom of adult ADHD: A systematic review. Plos one, 18(1), e0280131. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0280131
